guest post: thoughts on motherhood, by sarah robinson

so excited to have sarah "mac" robinson, marketing director for women's athletic apparel company oiselle, as the next guest in this series. mama to an adorable little girl, pj, sarah also writes over at running starfish where you can read more about how she balances it all while training for a marathon. thank you so much for sharing this beautiful vignette of your first year as a mother, sarah! 

I’ve been a mama to PJ for 8 months. Right now she’s cutting her third and fourth tooth and about 4.5 days from figuring out how to crawl. Putting her down to sleep is like trying to hold a tornado. We’re not sleeping. So whenever I thought of how to write about motherhood, it seemed more daunting than it already is. Anyone who has started this journey is brave. Braver than I knew. There is no way to describe the love, so scary, without getting completely cliché. Without using a word like blessed. Without coming across like a needlepoint saying. 

So instead of trying to sum it up, here are my journal entries. What in the hours and days since I first had Penelope pressed into my chest after our long labor I wrote down. Well some of it…

August 29, 2014

Penelope Jane Robison arrived on August 18th at 4:13pm via c-section. After 42 hours of labor! My water broke prematurely on 8/16 at 10pm. I spend 32 hours on Pitocin trying to start things… nothing. 

A story to tell another time. 

Today Penelope is 11 days old. She’s waking up beside my bed right now at 

10:00pm…ready to eat.

September 11, 2014

Last night I had the bright idea to change PJ in bed. She hadn’t pooped in nearly 48 

hours. And the diaper was just pee. As soon as I had that diaper off …poop!! All in my 

open hand, her onesie, our blankets.  I couldn’t stop laughing. Owen had to get up 

and help me cut her onesie off her. 

October 16, 2014

PJ has decided she’s a big kid –

Stands up in the Moby yelling –

No more afternoon nap!

October 19, 2014

Penelope After Nap

You wake up – sometimes – in your swing after napping midday blanket pushed off you drumming your tiny fingers on your knee like – So what now?

November 13, 2014

I go back to work on Thursday – it’s all I think about. When I hold Penelope I feel so overwhelmed. Looking at her perfect little face and imagining hours I won’t see it. Ahh this journey – so common, so unique. 

November 13, 2014 

To Penelope

You roll over. 

You laugh at the sticks hanging on the wall. You tell them stories. 

I dance with you. 

I dance for you – you laugh at me. 

We spell you name on the fridge

P – E – N – E – L – O – P – E

I tell you everything we see. 

My monkey. 

February 24, 2015 

She loves sweet potatoes and hates sleeping. 

I’m spinning in exhaustion.

April 8, 2015

I never thought I could love anyone so much. Especially anyone who wakes me up 

all night, wants pull my hair at 5am and then toots! with her little bare butt in my 

hand.

you can find also find sarah 'graming here and tweeting there