catch + release


hello, hi. how's your friday going? we're gearing up for a weekend without andy over here. in fact, our third wheel {think tricycle. we have a one-year old, you know} is already en route and nearing his destination as i write this, so it'll just be me and august with no plans in particular and great weather in the forecast. 

this isn't the first time andy has flown solo since august was born, but it *is* on the eve of a monumentous family event: my first trip sans bebe. but more on that later.

before the days of bath times and diapers - when it was just the two of us - andy and i often did things independantly. i think it was a bit disconcerting to our families at first, but they came to understand that it wasn't because we didn't want to be with each other or because our relationship wasn't strong enough. it was because we wanted our relationship to be strong that we held to our single-life selves {within reason, of course. he wasn't smooth-talking bartenders with updates on his dostoevsky thesis and i wasn't shyly flirtting with baristas who made perfect rosettas in my coffee}. we recognized early on that we each had individual interests long before coming together in legal union and what we acknowledged was this: he fell in love with me for all the things that add up to make me me and vice versa. 

a few weeks ago when i was finishing up this book, i read a quote that put it like this:
the point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust. a merging of two people is an impossibility, and where it seems to exist, it is a hemming-in, a mutual consent that robs one party or both parties of their fullest freedom and development. but once the realization is accepted that even between the closest people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of always seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.
the annual green drake hatch has begun in pennsylvania and new york this week and for eastern anglers, it's an epic event. andy will spend the next couple of evenings fishing way past dark with the hopes of catchting some of the largest trout in the northeast. by the time he's off the river, unrigged, and sipping a cold beer on the porch, august and i will have been fast asleep for hours, exhausted from our own full day of similar games of "catch and release". or at least that's what i imagine at four o'clock on a friday.   

enjoy the rest of your day and i hope you, too, have an epic weekend.


Amy said...

Hopefully Andy has a great time on his little adventure and catches some awesome fish. I heard all about this whole annual fly-hatching thing the other day.
And I definitely agree with you 100% that it is important for couples (or a mother, father, etc.) to spend time apart at least once in a while, doing something for themselves. The person comes back to their daily life refreshed and inspired, in a way, which tends to be infectious.
Then of course there's the whole absence makes the heart grow fonder thing... :-)

lucinda said...

exactly! whenever andy and i are about to see each other again after having spent a few days apart, i get all excited like a teen with a crush - it's silly.

Tanya Jean said...

Oh gosh, spending those few days away from each other can be hard but makes it all worth it once you are reunited!! I loved your comment down below of how you turn into a teen with a little crush! Just the cutest ;)
xo TJ

Amy said...

That's cute :-) and good that you guys still feel that way about each other!

lucinda said...

you know exactly what i mean then, tj! it's kind of this bitter sweet absense but with the anticipation of that awesome reunion. ;D

Rowena @ rolala loves said...

That quote is so on point! It's nice to be part of a couple and still be able to engage in individual activities. Hope you and Andy both enjoyed your weekends and have a sweet reunion when he returns. August is such a cutie!

Thanks for your nice comment of my Floral Friday post! I actually have no idea what type of tree that was other than the fact it was just made up of those pretty leaves.

Rowena @ rolala loves

lucinda said...

it was great one-on-one with the little man. i'll let you know about the solo trip - fingers crossed for no meltdowns {from either of us}! ;)

lucinda said...

it's one of my favorites, rowena - very poignant, as you said.

i was curious about the leaves because they look like a japanese maple's {only those are usually red}. yours was a lovely photo though!

Petra said...

I think it's so important to keep your own self in a relationship, with or without child. I personally don't understand couples that are fused at their hips. to each their own, of course, but I need alone time or time with friends.

lucinda said...

hi petra. i totally agree. without occasional time apart, you risk losing your unique identity, which is why two people fall in love in the first place! another quote i've always thought conveyed the idea well is "true love is the soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another"

Hannah Smith | fox and willow said...

I hope you all had a good weekend! curious about your trip sans the babe! I haven't been brave enough to do that yet! :)


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