in college, i dated a boy who was obsessed with the band u2 and thanks to him, the same song gets stuck in my head at the beginning of each year. it's not a bad song, but there's always a danger of having too much of a good thing (case in point: bono's hair in the video) and the song has been on infinite repeat in my mind for the past two days now. so...
the lyrics, they're starting to haunt me.
interpreting those words too literally can evoke cynicism because if you think about it, everything really is the same at the beginning of the year - even if the number on the calendar has changed. you wake up new year's day and the same commercials are on the tv from the year before of the local gym pitching "new year, new you" ads and offering contract-free membership. it's enough to want to throw the remote at the tv. but i believe in non-violence, so i disdainfully talk to the tv instead.
really. i feel like bill murray in that movie groundhog day when he keeps waking up to sonny and cher singing "i got you babe" and it's the same day all over again. at first, the repetition is maddening and his self-indulgence is annoying - there are no consequences for his actions so he gratuitously takes advantage of it. but it's bill murray, and he's hilarious, and the predictability of each day becomes funny, if not comforting.
the end of a year can feel a lot like that. old traditions are dusted off with the decorations that were brought down from the attic; holiday parties and gift baskets arrive with bells on; and everyone is celebrating so it's hedonistically tempting to just go for it. you've got a fresh start coming after december 31st anyway, right? well that was my thought process this year.
feeds from, i know, instagram were taunting my ambitions with depictions of rockwellian proportions (which is to say, ideal that can only be imagined). but those visions just ended up right where they started: up in my head, having a huge dance party with the sugar plums. so what did I do? threw my hands up and ate them.
hey, at least i was dreaming, right?
when i woke up though, there was no fresh start. the slate hadn't been wiped clean. come to think of it, i'm not sure it's even possible - there's to much that's built up over time. but i've realized that it is ok because residue shows use. it's evidence of a life that hasn't been idle. some people (me) still buy into the "clean slate" mentality, but the way sentiments are trending lately, it seems as if the majority is tired of the burden of starting over. i'm such a contrarian {hair twirl}... either that or i'm just always two steps behind. womp, womp.
i've read dozens of articles about people griping about resolutions. NO MORE RESOLUTIONS they protest, GOALS INSTEAD. then it's, GOALS ARE DUMB, INTENTIONS ARE MORE REIGHTEOUS. but aren't they all the same thing? or is there a distinction? like resolutions are concrete and too much of an of an obligation, so goals seem more feasible until you realize they still require some end, so you set an intention because that's more of an "attitude" and less tangible. meh, it's all semantics.
me, i'm a goal-setter and since now is a better time than never, why not pick 1/1/20xx to reassess your life? i recently came across this writer who offered a workbook to map out the year ahead. even though i wasn't the creative mind behind the manual, i share it in solidarity so that we can all try giving 2014 a run for it's money {you can download the elegantly designed pdf HERE}
so to wrap this thing up, let's get back to the movie: there's a turning point (naturally) when bill murray realizes that the bizarre situation he's found himself in, is actually a gift. he keeps getting chances to make his life right and when he finally does, the loop breaks and time moves forward.
this is where bono starts singing again.
all is quiet on new year's day
a world in white gets underway
it is also where the beginning of a new year comes in. why? because it offers a continuation. because when it comes down to it, i think we all want second chances. we're human, after all and no one is going to get it right the first time around (or the second, or the third...)
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